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The Reason Why You May Be Crying During Sex

Picture this: you begin to make out with your partner on the couch and decide it’s time to bring things to the bedroom. You’re excited to get down to business but in the middle of penetration you begin to feel your throat tighten and tears stream down your cheek. Why does this keep happening? 

What many people don’t realize is that sex is more than just a physical act; it can be a complex rollercoaster of emotions that sometimes can lead to tears. Yet, in a world where sex is often steeped in shame, the idea of shedding a tear during such an intimate moment can feel like the worst thing possible. 


I’m going to let you in on a little secret, crying before, during or even after sex is NORMAL! 

Multiple different factors can contribute to this emotional response, spanning across a spectrum from happiness to sadness and everything in between. 

  • You are experiencing an emotional release: Sex can be a powerful and intimate experience, leading to a release of pent-up emotions. Crying might serve as a cathartic release of stress, sadness, or other intense feelings.

  • Sex can be both emotionally and physically intense: sex can trigger a strong emotional response. For some individuals, overwhelming pleasure, connection, or vulnerability may lead to tears.

  • There might be past trauma: Individuals with a history of trauma, especially related to sex or relationships, may experience emotional flashbacks or memories.

  • You are feeling a deep emotional connection: connections with a partner can evoke a profound response. Tears may be a sign of overwhelming feelings of love, intimacy, or vulnerability.

  • Oxytocin is released during sex: aka the "bonding hormone", can intensify emotions. This hormonal surge may contribute to a person feeling more emotionally vulnerable.

  • Unresolved issues in a relationship or personal life: may surface during sex, leading to an emotional reaction. 

  • You’re experiencing mismatched expectations, unmet emotional needs or disappointment: all of which can create emotional tension, causing you to respond with tears as you navigate expectations versus reality 

  • There is a fear of vulnerability: Some individuals may cry as a response to the vulnerability that comes with physical and emotional intimacy. It could be a mix of fear, excitement, and openness.

So, the next time tears well up during or after an intimate moment, remember – you're not alone in this experience. Instead, it's a testament to the intricacies of human emotions within the complex landscape of intimacy.


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