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How Do I Set Boundaries with my Family? (Holiday Edition)

Setting Boundaries with your family during this holiday season

Surviving Your Sexuality This Holiday Season

The holiday season is upon us, you know what that means, seeing your family, meeting up with old friends, eating lots of pie and getting triggered. There is nothing quite like sitting around a table full of your relatives, especially when they come for you about your relationship status. 

If your family is anything like mine they are going to discreetly pressure you into answering questions that you desperately don't want to answer. Like, “have you been thinking about settling down any time soon?” Or the old “if you want kids you do need to think about these things.” 

When you find yourself trapped in a situation where your sexuality becomes the topic of discussion without your consent, it can be both frustrating and hurtful. This is the moment when it's crucial to remember that you have the power to assert your boundaries and reaffirm the autonomy of your personal identity.

Your sexuality is yours and yours alone. It is not something fun to gossip about at the holiday dinner table. The million dollar question is: how can you effectively establish boundaries that your family will respect?

Start by self regulating

If you come at your family when triggered, your emotions might get the better of you. While there is nothing wrong with expressing your emotions, we often get tongue tied if we try to set boundaries in that state. 

Self regulation can look like taking deep and slow breaths, getting up from the table to move your body or saying self affirmations in your head. My personal favorite self regulation tool is to get up and move my body.  

Decide on what your boundaries are

Are you comfortable with talking a little bit about your sexuality and relationships? Defining what aspects of your sexuality and life you are comfortable with discussing allows your to assert your boundaries confidently. 

Tell your family and friends how you feel. Making people uncomfy is OKAY. Oftentimes we do not assert our boundaries because we fear making others around us uncomfortable, but why should we feel uncomfortable for their benefit? Asserting your boundaries is healthy and you deserve to be respected in the way you want. 

In the end, it's not about changing their beliefs but ensuring that your boundaries are respected. Your sexuality and choices are valid, and you have the right to maintain your privacy and autonomy, even when among family.

Embrace who you are, stand your ground, and surround yourself with understanding and supportive individuals who respect and celebrate your identity.

Happy holidays my friends :) 

Love Emily


If you feel like you need extra support this holiday season sign up for a free session with me to learn all about understanding your sexuality and setting boundaries that make you feel empowered. 


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