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Exploring How Sexuality Education Enhances Desire

Desire is a powerful force that drives intimate connections and nurtures satisfying relationships. Given its crucial role in our sexual well-being and enjoyment, you would think that learning how to cultivate it would be top priority. However, with little to no sexuality education comes little to no understanding of how desire functions. 


How can sex ed help? Through education, you can learn about the factors that influence desire and explore techniques for increasing it in a way that feels natural to you. Sexuality education can also help dispel myths and misconceptions and promote a more realistic and positive view of sex and desire. 



Feeling Desire


What is desire? 


Sexual desire is an aspect of human sexuality. It encompasses the longing or craving for connection, pleasure and/or sexual intimacy. Based on research, it exists within our autonomic nervous systems and appears to be impacted by our serotonin and dopamine receptors. Aka our body automatically flips on some switches to feel desire when we are introduced to something that spikes our interest. Why is this important to know? Becoming educated about how desire works offers you the inside scoop into how to work with your body. 


Sexual desire is often broken down by three types: spontaneous, responsive and contextual. 

Spontaneous desire: You know that feeling of wanting someone right now, that is spontaneous desire. It does not have any specific external trigger or stimulation and is often described as a sudden urge that arises out of nowhere.  

Responsive desire: That smutty book you love reading, or the feel of lingerie or the sexy text from your partner all can elicit responsive sexual desire. These types tend to need a sexual cue or stimuli in order to create desire. 

Contextual desire: This desire type is based on the internal and external factors. Aka they have the right stimuli, their mind is in the right place and they are in the ideal circumstance. Contextual desire highlights the importance of considering the broader context in which a sexual experience occurs. 



Tools to boost your desire: 


Since we know now that there are different desire types and that our bodies impact how we process desire, not all the tips and tricks below will be helpful for everyone. Think of them more as a guideline of things to try out rather than a rule book needed to be followed. 


Mentally: 


  1. Prioritize sexual (and non-sexual) self-care: engage in activities that help you relax in order to calm the nervous system so that desire can flow freely. Get adequate sleep, eat healthy, manage stress and love on yourself. 

  2. Explore your body: in order to enjoy your body you need to understand it. Try out different methods of sexual arousal, watch or listen to something steamy, and masturbate. 

  3. Communicate openly: discussing your fantasies,pleasure and preferences helps guide your partner to better supporting your desires

  4. Fantasize freely: I can not suggest this enough, find something that you enjoy sexually and fantasize about it. Our imagination is a powerful thing, fantasizing helps you boost confidence, explore safely within your mind and play out scenarios you might want to try. 

  5. Set the mood: if you lean towards responsive or contextual desire types then setting the mood might be the difference between feeling desire or not. 


Physically: 


  1. Engage in healthy habits: exercise regularly, prioritize sleep, maintain a healthy diet and try to limit the bad shit. You would be amazed how much a healthy lifestyle can positively impact your sex life. 

  2. Address any underlying medical issues: this goes hand in hand with being healthy. If you are dealing with any underlying medical issues then reaching peak desires may be more difficult or sometimes impossible. 

  3. Explore sensual touch: engage in both sexual and non-sexual touch with yourself or your partner(s). Allow the touch to be an exploration of your entire body, not jumping too quickly into anything sexual. 

  4. Experiment: trust me, if you want to understand what causes you desire you should do some experimentation. Try out new toys, new forms of sexual play and anything that might peak your interest. 


Remember that sexual desire is influenced by a combination of physical, psychological, and emotional factors. Experiment with different techniques and strategies to discover what works best for you and your partner(s) in boosting physical arousal and desire.

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